Amanda Says

A Blog Log

2011-04-24T20:59:00.006-04:00

I’m a total hypocrite! Seriously, I tell people if you’re going to blog, you need to blog at least once a week. A few times a week is better and daily is best—if you want to do this sort of thing. I follow dozens of social media specialists who write frequently. They make it a priority and it’s a part of their daily work. I have come to realize the only way that will be me, is if it becomes a part of my daily job requirement.

Since starting my freelance work, I have picked up some interesting projects- unfortunately; blogging is not one of them. I am working with a very creative and much more disciplined writer and journalist. She has a great blog. She doesn’t blog daily, but crafts at least one or two memorable entries a week. It’s like exercise. You have to make a commitment to do it on a schedule, no matter how you feel and no matter what is going on in your life.

It was less than six weeks ago when my step-father fell and broke his hip. The following day he had surgery and then he was moved to a rehab facility where he has been about three weeks now. Tomorrow he is being moved to a nursing home to continue his therapy. I could and will write another blog about finding decent nursing care for a loved one. This has been so tragic- not only watching him in pain, but negotiating our healthcare system. There are so few options when you don’t have a lot of money for assisted care. Many of the nicer options cost up to 5,000 dollars per month. Is that reasonable? Our mortgages are not that high, even if you factor in electric, gas and water. For an elderly person? It’s pretty ridiculous.

I know I will have plenty of stories with this ongoing saga. I also want to start blogging about kids’ movies. I was inspired today after going to a Disney Nature film which was rated “G” and it was so far from “G”, that I had a sobbing child on my shoulder and lost one of my friends who had to leave with her three year old! More on that tomorrow!

Fabulous and Freelancing

2011-03-01T20:47:00.003-05:00

What a difference a few days can make! My last post was January 14th and January 21st was my last day at Borders! I can't say I shed any tears, it was a relief- even beyond the financial worry. It certainly was my first retail position that was a poor fit. I have had some "quirky" situations in the past, but this one was downright unsettling from the get go. My first day, I was told that the woman who hired me to work under her was leaving. After my first week, 100 people were let go. And then there was a massive site redesign which was set to go live just before the busiest time of the year. From there, it went down hill, tumbling to where things sit now, bankruptcy. People asked me, including friends and family why I took a position with a company in such dire condition. There were a couple of reasons. I loved Borders. Always have. But it was definitely better living on the outside. I also met some fabulous contractors who were exciting to work with and who taught me a lot in a short time.

Now it's six weeks later and I have three new freelance clients! I'm thrilled and very excited about working with them and contributing the knowledge I love to share. I'm already making a difference in a way in which I never could have at Borders. Perhaps I bought my ticket too late for a ride which was spinning out of control. And now it's my time to go full tilt into this new adventure.

Back from hiatus!

2011-01-14T23:59:00.003-05:00

My last post was just before I starting my position at Borders in Ann Arbor. Blogging was one of those labors of love I had to stop for a time. I realized my blog time turned into drive time as I've been spending over 10 hours in the car per week. When I first started, I was also putting in time to learn everything I needed to learn, so I was away from home 12 hours a day.

Amanda started 3rd grade and has lots of activities. Besides her homework, she has piano, Brownies, math pentathlon and just last weekend, she started ice hockey! I know, right? And next weekend, she wants to audition for a play.

I am on my third year with the school science fair and this year, I have the exciting designation of 'Chairperson'. If only that title included a nice recliner, a glass of wine and one of the many books I have recently brought home from work.

The upside of course is that I am employed, I'm being challenged and have met some great people along the way. Welcome 2011, the milestone birthday year for me which let's say is 30- yeah- that's about right. I just bought myself a new pair of ice skates and can still turn a perfect cartwheel. I'm excited to see what this year brings and the amazing things "Amanda Says".

A Time to Grow

2010-07-15T08:56:00.005-04:00

While I've been off, well more accurately, while I have not been employed full-time outside the house, I have really grown. I have had the time and random experiences that have made this all worth while. We're all probably sick of hearing the phrase "everything happens for a reason" and although true, the tricky part is in not knowing all the reasons up front. Some of the reasons take time to present themselves and need nurturing, just like a plant needs water and sun. Having the extra hours in the day or at least the luxury of having flexibility makes me gravitate toward the things I love best. I find myself puttering more in the yard. Yesterday, I used the electric hedger for the first time- and then spent the rest of the day worrying that Rob would have a fit over what I "hedged". I think I did a pretty good job and finished with all 10 fingers to boot! I pondered the empty space behind the deck where we had cut down the dead arborvitae and decided to put our table fountain there.

Today I went to the Heavenly Scent Herb Farm to get something inspiring for this new space I created. I found a metal faerie with colored stones and a hanging ladybug which now resides in our cherry tree on the deck. I'm thrilled to share some of what I saw today.

Street Sense

2010-07-14T21:45:00.006-04:00

Sometimes the most amazing things can pass right by the street in front of your house.

This morning I attended an open house at The Creative Group with about seven other marketing professionals and we talked and met with Donna Farrugia who is the Executive Director of the agency. She had flown in from California and wanted to have a meeting of the minds on social media. Obviously a hot topic right now- we discussed how so many companies want to join the bandwagon, but have no idea where to start or whom to hire as their buzzmaster.

I mentioned to this group that I also attended my first "tweet up" last night at a local bar/restaurant and found it all pretty interesting. Without going into the reason for this tweet up, I met a bunch of great new people who were in the industry as bloggers, internet marketers and social media makers- all very friendly, connected and plugged in to their device of choice, which overwhelmingly were i-Phones. Some although under the same roof were actually tweeting to each other. Most of the time I was there, my phone was in my purse- for these are the occasions I relish that face to face contact- my only concern was that my daughter had phoned me a dozen times because she was not happy I was out! The one thing that struck me was one of the attendees said sometimes she just really appreciates having so many people respond on her Facebook and Twitter pages when she is having a bad day or is upset. What she appreciated the most was that human contact- people reaching out.

Going back to my morning meeting- we discussed how todays "kids" are wired so differently than previous generations. They grew up with computers, internet, texting and social media- it's how they live, learn and connect. I sometimes struggle with this- I don't want my cell phone to be my life line, but do understand why it can be theirs.

In the evening at home, we like to spend time outside visiting with neighbors, the neighbors dogs, children and just sit in the grass talking. Most times, I leave my phone in the house. Tonight, we spoke to a grandmother from around the block who happens to be from China. She was pushing her granddaughter in a stroller. The baby girl is half Russian and half Chinese. This babe is trilingual. Both Amanda and I greeted her in Mandarin- what a doll! After they passed by, a couple walked by holding a 10 week old black lab puppy named Cody. We learned that this pup visits on their son's golf night. They were thrilled to be puppy sitting and enjoyed meeting our Molly and her love Grue who shared ice cubes on the lawn.

I want Amanda to love the simple pleasures in life. That's why we ride our bikes a lot together. This is what my mom taught me. I'm obviously plugged in now, but Amanda is sleeping. My challenge now is to take my "street sense" be successful working in an industry that is on 24/7 and squeeze in those quiet meaningful times that happen without tones, rings and acronoyms.

Going for Balance

2010-07-13T11:22:00.003-04:00

While my new blog platform is being fleshed out- meaning my more technically advanced husband made it too complicated for me- I'm going to start posting again here. It has been quite sometime and it's certainly not because Amanda stopped talking. On the contrary! She has also had a lot to put up with this past year. My position at Gale Cengage was eliminated at the end of January and since then, I've been doing contract work and job hunting. The ironic part is, while I'm trying to secure a new position that would probably include social media, I have had no time to do social media for myself. You know that story about the shoemaker's kids...I always have time for others and love promoting businesses and developing ideas that translate into cash- but I have to make cash too. The bills don't stop when full-time employment stops!

I was so fortunate and perhaps wise beyond my regular income when I took a part-time consulting position last October, before leaving Gale. This same agency found me additional work and I did a neat little analytics project for Schoolcraft College. Thank goodness for Avinash Kaushik's web analytics books which walked me through some complex detail I needed- I was then able to really provide Schoolcraft a roadmap on where they should take their website.

Something else I have learned about doing contract work: It's a little hard for me to do the work and then let it go! I'm not used to that. I like to take ownership in a business and nurture it along. So, with that, I am interviewing and interviewing and interviewing more for something full-time and a place to call home. I have had some awesome opportunities present themselves and I am very excited to see where I'm going to land. I think what sets me apart from others is my backround as a merchant and I am really thankful to have a solid business foundation. I guess those 10 years of managing at Lord & Taylor and Saks Fifth Avenue gave me more than a thinner waistline! I am so ready to get back to business. Universe, bring it on!

There is too much to update you on with Amanda, so I will make that a separate post. It's good to be back and I can't wait to share the happs with friends and family. Thank you to Marla for this photo! She really inspired me on her recent trip to China to bring her new daughter home! It really is all about balance. More to come-

How Amanda became a U.S. Citizen

2009-04-25T08:41:00.000-04:00

Here's one from the archives!

How Our China Punim Became a U.S. Citizen

When it comes to raising our China Punim, there are so many decisions to consider. Of course she will go to Sunday school and be a Bat Mitzvah, but those are easy decisions. Growing up in our area as all kids do is not a simple thing, but it’s decided and settled and right now, we are planning on sending her to public school. What about her Chinese culture? Both my husband and I want Amanda to learn Mandarin. It is not just because if she decides in the future that she wants to be a business person, she will have a definite edge in knowing the language, but we want her to learn about her Chinese heritage. We plan on returning to China, either to adopt another child, a “Mei Mei”, which means “Little Sister” or just to show Amanda her birth country, the culture she was born into.

It’s incredible to us what is going on now in the United States with the immigration issues. I can understand both sides, but one I will continue to support is the laws that affect the citizenship of children that are adopted internationally. One of the most powerful moments in our adoption emotionally was when we landed on U.S. soil in Detroit. Amanda was automatically a U.S. citizen. It felt like we held our breath for 2 weeks until we touched down at Metro Airport.

I remember the day like yesterday. We were sitting on the runway in her birth province, waiting to take off to Guangzhou for one more week. That was where the U.S. Consulate was. As we jetted out, my eyes welt up for her. I felt a tremendous sadness, like I was taking her away from all she knew. It did not feel natural, nor did I feel a sense of relief. It was more like a tremendous appreciation for the land and the unknown couple who created this incredible child to take care of and love. And although the country has its issues that girls are not as “desirable” as boys are, none of that mattered to us. We felt we were given a gift. I knew the next time we would land in the Guangxi Autonomous Region, we would be in the company of a boisterous 5 or 6 year old, or perhaps a moody teenager and we would be Mom and Dad.

Although everything was “Kosher” and legal, there was a sense of being in some episode of Alias, with passports, Visas, fingerprints and all those documents. We walked to the U.S. Embassy in Guangzhou, and our group was ushered past hundreds of Chinese citizens trying to get out of the country and to the United States. Left behind were these desperate faces clinging to and locked out behind the gate in hopes that someone would hear their case. Meanwhile these 14 girls in our group, once seen as less desirable, were about to become U.S. citizens. In retrospect, it was quite ironic.

Unfortunately, no cameras were allowed in the area because of security. We packed into a small room with a couple hundred parents holding their babies and repeating an oath we could barely hear- all the sudden everyone cheered and I knew that was it. Our girls were officially free to leave with us to start their new lives an ocean away.

As we were departing from mainland China for good, flying from Guangdong to Hong Kong, there was finally a sense of relief. We had her VISA to the United States and the famous brown envelope, not to be opened until it was handed to U.S. immigration officers in Detroit.

How old are we really?

2009-04-24T22:37:00.001-04:00

I read an article earlier in the week. It talks about my generation and trying to define who we are. Who are we supposed to be? Part of me doesn't care what people think of me anymore. That definitely comes with age- some is wisdom, some is that I'm just plain tired out!

Since becoming a mom, working full time hasn't become harder, it the time when you're not working that's completely out of control. How much can you pack into a weekend? There's laundry, housecleaning, Amanda's activities, family obligations. I get back to work on Monday morning where it's extremely quiet and I sit for a few minutes and let my mind catch up to my body. Most people my age don't feel their age. I can still climb trees with Amanda, do a cartwheel and can out run her if I have to. Who do I need to be? A logistics guru- no boss who has a working mom under them has REALLY seen her multi-task, unless he see her at home. That's the game and some days go better than others. Grandparents really help if and when they can. We tried in the beginning to not take help- life becomes way more complicated when kids start school.

So Saturday starts with softball at 9am and horsebackriding in the afternoon. Sounds pretty glorious. More to come on motherhood and marketing. Much more to come from Amanda Says:

Yesterday, she said, "More respect for the momma, and you can write that on Facebook"

Holding our Breath

2008-11-21T08:49:00.000-05:00

Holding our Breath sums up so many things right now! In about 3 hours, our amazing friend Rochelle will be coming through international customs at metro airport with her new daughter Paige! I'm am so excited, I just want to leave now for the airport! I'm so proud to call Ro my friend. She is one of the strongest people I know. She also knows what is important and right in the world. Paige has no idea yet how lucky she is to have such a great mom. What stories she will hear when she gets older about how she came to live in America during such turbulent times.

I am also holding my breath over a couple new job opportunities. I have been working a temp job that is ending in 2 weeks, so the pressure is really on! I am staying positive and with either position, will have to jump in and really focus on making them successful. I find it hard at times being a mom, which is always a full time + job and balancing all the rest. Yes, it can be done, but doing it well? That's the real challenge.

So, I take a deep breath and think of Rochelle. She traveled alone to the other side of the earth to bring home an almost one year old. She definitely did it well- you can see by the look on her tired face! She is all smiles. And shortly, when her friends and family meet her at the airport, there are definitely going to be a lot of tears! We love you guys!!!!

From China with Love

2008-11-11T19:58:00.000-05:00

Once again, I became an emotional wreck last night! I saw photos of my girlfriend Rochelle in China! She is in the process of meeting and bringing home her daugher Paige. The wait for her and her husband was really long. Two and a half times longer than ours. I can't even imagine waiting longer than we did for Amanda. Rochelle did it well. She was calm and convinced that each day that passed was for a reason. And she was right. The wait led her to Paige, the daughter she was meant to have. How does one finally get to this philosophical place? Perhaps it's years of wanting a child and being disappointed and then getting back to hope. I have said to others, that I can't imagine giving birth as being any more intense. Yes, many of us adopting moms and dads come with extra baggage, but once we travel to meet our children, we know which baggage to pack! Here she is, Miss Paige. The newest member of our girlfriend club!

Trip to Avenue Q

2008-11-08T21:53:00.000-05:00

I really enjoyed my trip last night to Avenue Q! The Fisher Theater was buzzing and the "D" was beautifully lit with holiday lights along West Grand Boulevard and Woodward Avenue. It was an evening to forget about all the bad news plaguing our city.

Avenue Q had a "multi-muppeted" ensemble cast that was so talented and everyone in this sold-out audience laughed...a lot! Strings attached? You bet! Someone who reviewed it in our local newspaper said they were 10 years too old to relate to the characters. Being the same age, I had to disagree. We all have memories about graduating school and finding our first job. This group of newly found friends lived together in an apartment building owned by the former child star Gary Coleman! From there, it gets even funnier! The opening song "Sucks to be me" reflected on all their struggles and how things had not progressed in their lives as they imagined. Boy, who can't relate to that? There was another song called "We're all a little racist", which spoke about how we stereotype people. I laughed and could see my Asian daughter playing the role of Christmas Eve someday. The funniest characters were the most racy. Well, as racy as a puppet/muppet with a human handler can get- Imagine Cookie Monster being into porn- that was Trekkie Monster! Lucy the Slut, looked like a cross between Loni Anderson, from the 70's, okay, now I am dating myself, and the old fashioned hussy! The lead characters were Princeston and Kate Monster who actually had sex! Shocking? Perhaps. But even puppets need love! It really was cute and most enjoyable. Who did I like the best? Kate of course!

Broadway in Detroit is alive and well.

The big TV screen says: Go See Avenue Q

You'll love it!

Meet me on Avenue Q

2008-11-03T22:43:00.000-05:00

This Friday night, I’m going to see Avenue Q! I’m so excited and it will be nice having a night out with my husband. I’ve heard some of the songs from Avenue Q and read a few reviews. One writer called it “Reality Bites meets Sesame Street”. What do you do with a B.A. in English? Well, about the same thing we’re all doing right now; trying to make it on our big dreams with little money! I know I am going to love these characters. I’ll report back with which one I liked most. I know I’m lucky- part of me is grounded because I’m a mom, but my career has crashed along with the stock market. I feel like I’m starting over again. “Sucks to be me”? Not really, for I truly have that optimistic Muppet outlook. I can’t wait to sit in the beautiful Fisher Theater and be carried away by this Broadway musical which promises plenty of laughs. What could be better than that? Having a good friend who invited us to go!

Blessings for China Punims

2008-10-14T21:16:00.000-04:00

Last night was Amanda’s blessing ceremony at Temple. It was Succot and there were tons of kids there. We went into the sanctuary and sat down with the other parents. I sat next to another mom who has 3 daughters from China. The mom and I had just learned recently that her middle daughter and Amanda met at day camp and became great friends. We just laughed that they never mentioned it.

The music started and the kids marched in two by two. I assumed Amanda would be with one of her classmates. Her new friend from camp was in a different Sunday School class. Then we looked back and in came Amanda and her new friend from China. They were holding hands. The other mom and I were thrilled. The girls walked proudly and with confidence. They were directed to go to Rabbi Josh.

After they were blessed, they all sat together and sang songs. Then we all went outside to the Succah and shared cider and donuts under the stars. The moon was almost full.

Later when we got in the car to go home, I asked Amanda what the Rabbi said to them. She told me he asked them where they were from and they both said “China”. Then before his blessing was done, they said Ni Hao (Hello) and Zaijian (Goodbye) at the same time. I thought to myself that this had to be one of the most unique blessings the Rabbi had done and a blessing in itself. For these two lovely young ladies had traveled so far to become be a part of this Temple family. A true miracle for both our families.

A Tree Grows in Farmington

2008-09-24T21:31:00.000-04:00

I want to start writing about great after school projects and the assignments Amanda is getting from school. First grade is a whole new ballgame and I love the way she is learning to think more critically. This week we are looking for trees. Not just any kind of tree, but the oldest trees in our area. We are measuring their trunks at the 4 foot level and it has been taking 2 of us to get the tape measure around them. We even need a longer tape measure than our 10 footer. Amanda is determined to find the biggest and oldest. Her favorite is the Weeping Willow tree. I’m not sure why, but I know she loves the Willow Tree who talks with great wisdom in the movie Pochahontas. The Willow Tree we measured yesterday had been damaged in the last storm, but still has the lead at 168 inches around. We’ll spend the rest of the week searching and will report back our findings. Monday would have been my Mom’s 70th birthday. One of my fondest memories with her was a botany field trip she took me on for one of her college classes when I was just a little older than Amanda. I hope Amanda will remember the week we measured trees.

Friendships Weather all Storms

2008-09-13T21:10:00.000-04:00

I was at work this morning when I received a call that went to my voice mail. I was later sorry I didn't pick it up. It was my friend Carmen who lives in Houston. She left a message saying they were okay, but without power and trapped in the house, since downed trees blocked their garage door. In her endless humor, she mentioned that she had extra kids staying with them, I believe she said it was a set of twins and she went on to say how hard this would be without her cappucino machine! She also told me to make sure I posted to our China travel group, that they were all okay.

It was five years ago this week and next, that we were in China together. I remember meeting Carmen for the first time in Beijing. The first thing she said when she came up to me at breakfast was, "How's your Dad?" My Dad had been in the hospital the week before we left for China and we had been corresponding on our Yahoo travel group. This group was established by one of the other moms who we fondly refer to as "Linda M". Linda was the seasoned China traveler who we all came to rely on for advice and what to expect throughout our adoptions.

Linda M lives in suburban Minneapolis. The other moms who stay in touch are in Florida, Georgia, Minnesota, Oregon and overseas in places like Qatar and Dubai. We have weathered many storms these past 5 years and will always remain forever connected through China. A few of us are meeting soon in places like Disney World, the Mall of America and hopefully someday we'll do a reunion trip back to where we met in the Far East.

Carmen, we'll be all thinking about you and hoping the power comes on soon. Girl, you really have your own power on 24/7. But I know your need your cappucino to weather motherhood! LOL..Me too!

Happy Gotcha Day Qinzhou Babes!!!!

Managing Life

2008-08-29T23:19:00.000-04:00

I bought Oprah's magazine the other day because the theme for September was all about being too busy to live. I haven't had time to read it yet. You may have noticed that the Amanda Says blog now has a new header with a couple shots of Amanda and some Chinese folk art in the middle.

I started a temporary assignment with the company Rob is working for and it doesn't require creativity. I also realized that this is okay and what I'm doing there is helping people who may not be able to help themselves and most of them are pretty grateful. I'm also "talking" to people, in the office and on the phone. We're not emailing, sending instant messages or communicating in acronymns. The really neat part is the other folks I trained with and I work as a team. And the executives in charge are right there with us, supporting us and making a difference too.

So, even if we seem "too busy" to read a magazine or answer all our emails every day, we are living. And if we're able to make a difference in the lives we touch, we're living well.

Olympics & Music

2008-08-13T17:55:00.000-04:00

The opening ceremony of the Olympics was pure magic. That was one performance that in your mind you were saying "What's next". How could 2,000 people be in sync to that magnitude? Amanda wasn't that interested in watching it, but it taught us even more about our daughter's heritage and why she is the way she is on such a deep level.

Even with the most simple tasks, Amanda wants to get it right. She will start over and over again if she makes a mistake or if something isn't up to her standards. I have explained to her that if she gets a word wrong while reading, she doesn't have to go back to the beginning of the story. I don't want to discourage her from trying her best, but want her to know it's okay to make mistakes.

It's very important to me that Amanda learns music. She just started taking piano lessons with my sister. While others were bringing back pearls and other mementos for their daughters from China, my greatest find was a musical instrument. I decided which one to look for one day when I was alone with Amanda in a park near our hotel in Nanning. An elderly man was playing the most beautiful and haunting instrument that resembled a violin.

The following week when we were waiting for her Visa in Guangzhou, I went into a shop called Jennifer's Place. It was where all the families shopped for inexpensive gifts and they by far had the most reasonable laundry service. I spotted this special violin on a shelf, but it looked like a cheap souvenier. I asked the shopkeeper if she had any others. She said that she had one in their backroom. She brought out this dark snakeskin case and inside was the real thing! It was an authentic "Erhu". I bought it.

As we came through customs in Detroit, there we were, carrying our priceless Amanda, 2 weeks worth of luggage and the snakeskin case, which I promptly declared to my sister. I told her that her job as Amanda's official "Ayi" (Auntie) who can only be the sister of the mom, was to teach Amanda the Erhu. So, we're starting with piano and will go from there.

Check out the 12 Girls Band playing Cold Plays "Clocks". There you will see what an Erhu is!

A Swimmer Indeed

2008-08-06T17:42:00.000-04:00

Welcome to a brand new Amanda Says blog! Due to circumstances beyond my control, my old blog was deleted. My job was also "eliminated" this past Monday, so I am enjoying what will (hopefully) only be a few weeks of freedom.

This Friday, the Olympics in China will have their opening ceremony. I selected the little critters above to be our first header and it will stay there till the closing ceremony in Beijing. We Americans say "Bay-jeeng". The proper way to pronounce it is "Bay-gin". We are going to cheer on our American team while we reminisce about the place we visited 5 years ago. Seeing the athletes today outside the Forbidden City brought tears to my eyes.

Amanda and her Auntie and I went to the pool this afternoon. I wanted my sister to see Amanda jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool. My sister couldn't believe it. Even more amazing was watching Amanda swim all the way across to the other side of the pool. She swam the length of an "Olympic" sized pool! I couldn't believe my eyes. I swam behind her just to make sure she could grab me if she needed to. There were plenty of lifeguards as well. We got to the other side and I was holding Amanda in the water and the lifeguard said, "You really shouldn't have her here if she can't swim". I let go of Amanda and she just swam away. I told the lifeguard she can swim and I was just holding her because she's my baby! :)

Amanda wanted to jump off the diving board one more time. As she did, I turned to the lifeguard and she made the funniest face of disbelief. Hmm, not quite 6? Future Olympic swimmer? Probably not, but I'm so proud of how far she's come this summer!

Amanda's favorite camp song: "Baby Shark" bah bah, bah bah bah bah..baby shark!