Amanda, Version 3.85

The following are questions and comments from Amanda, version 3.85. 4.0 will be available on September 6th- her birthday

Mama? Why are you and Auntie Lisa sisters?
Mama? Did Dadoo carry you into the house after you got married? Mama? How old are you?

Other Panda Muses:
I remember a big storm when I was a baby in China- there was a huge monsoon the year she was born, we highly doubt she would remember that!

Stories about Molly:
"I will get Molly inside because she is my sister" (Molly is the dog) As I showed her coins and told her one was Canadian, she asked me if that was Molly’s money (Molly is from Canada)
She thinks parents have to get married before they have a child-before every time they have an additional child! I think that’s pretty smart!

A Conversation on the Potty
Amanda: Mama? Did God make all this stuff in here?
First I wanted to laugh, thinking God made this "ungodly" wallpaper in the bathroom!
Mama: "No honey, people made all this stuff".
Amanda: "Where is God?"
Mama: "God is all around us".
Amanda: "All around us?"
Mama: "Yes"
Amanda: silent
Mama: too tired for both a religious and a philosophical discussion, thought Phew!
Reflections on Children’s TV
Mama? Do Bert and Ernie have a Mama?

I really had no idea how to answer that. I never remember this being addressed in any Sesame Street episode. Then I started thinking. How old are Bert and Ernie? To me, they are like Oscar and Felix from the Odd Couple. They seem older, but they act child-like. Then I started thinking about kids' TV in general and how far it's come over the years. I know I may start an uproar here, if anyone is reading this, But, Mr. Rogers is still on TV. As far as I know, he passed away a few years back. Is it just me, or is this a bit creepy? Okay, so Mama answered the question with another question.

Children’s TV is pretty good these days, if you take the time to screen the shows before deciding which ones to let them watch. Everything on Nogin, which is Nick Jr is pretty safe. The only show I really don’t like is Max and Ruby. Ruby, who is Max’s older sister, is bossy and annoying. Max does not talk because she does enough talking for the both of them. Then there is Oobi and all I can say about that is, “Why didn’t I think of that and boy, they can do a lot with their hands!”

Right when the shows were getting borderline babyish, a writer Dad started Pinky Dinky Doo! It’s smart, it’s funny, it teaches and Amanda loves it. We walk around the house singing the theme song. We repeat her catch phrases like, ‘Now that’s something you don’t see everyday”. She solves problems by telling an elaborate story inside a used appliance box. She picks one word for each story and has your 3.85 child saying “exasperated” and “unflappable”. Then at the end of her stories, there is a little review, to see if they were paying attention of the order of events. This is definitely the step up from Dora the Explorer who repeats everything in 3’s! That worked well for her when she was a flower girl: stand up, walk down, sit down! She repeated it over and over like a Dora episode and did great! But, now Dora bores her. You might say that Dora “exasperates” her!

To be continued!

How Amanda became a U.S. Citizen

Here's one from the archives!

How Our China Punim Became a U.S. Citizen

When it comes to raising our China Punim, there are so many decisions to consider. Of course she will go to Sunday school and be a Bat Mitzvah, but those are easy decisions. Growing up in our area as all kids do is not a simple thing, but it’s decided and settled and right now, we are planning on sending her to public school. What about her Chinese culture? Both my husband and I want Amanda to learn Mandarin. It is not just because if she decides in the future that she wants to be a business person, she will have a definite edge in knowing the language, but we want her to learn about her Chinese heritage. We plan on returning to China, either to adopt another child, a “Mei Mei”, which means “Little Sister” or just to show Amanda her birth country, the culture she was born into.

It’s incredible to us what is going on now in the United States with the immigration issues. I can understand both sides, but one I will continue to support is the laws that affect the citizenship of children that are adopted internationally. One of the most powerful moments in our adoption emotionally was when we landed on U.S. soil in Detroit. Amanda was automatically a U.S. citizen. It felt like we held our breath for 2 weeks until we touched down at Metro Airport.

I remember the day like yesterday. We were sitting on the runway in her birth province, waiting to take off to Guangzhou for one more week. That was where the U.S. Consulate was. As we jetted out, my eyes welt up for her. I felt a tremendous sadness, like I was taking her away from all she knew. It did not feel natural, nor did I feel a sense of relief. It was more like a tremendous appreciation for the land and the unknown couple who created this incredible child to take care of and love. And although the country has its issues that girls are not as “desirable” as boys are, none of that mattered to us. We felt we were given a gift. I knew the next time we would land in the Guangxi Autonomous Region, we would be in the company of a boisterous 5 or 6 year old, or perhaps a moody teenager and we would be Mom and Dad.

Although everything was “Kosher” and legal, there was a sense of being in some episode of Alias, with passports, Visas, fingerprints and all those documents. We walked to the U.S. Embassy in Guangzhou, and our group was ushered past hundreds of Chinese citizens trying to get out of the country and to the United States. Left behind were these desperate faces clinging to and locked out behind the gate in hopes that someone would hear their case. Meanwhile these 14 girls in our group, once seen as less desirable, were about to become U.S. citizens. In retrospect, it was quite ironic.

Unfortunately, no cameras were allowed in the area because of security. We packed into a small room with a couple hundred parents holding their babies and repeating an oath we could barely hear- all the sudden everyone cheered and I knew that was it. Our girls were officially free to leave with us to start their new lives an ocean away.

As we were departing from mainland China for good, flying from Guangdong to Hong Kong, there was finally a sense of relief. We had her VISA to the United States and the famous brown envelope, not to be opened until it was handed to U.S. immigration officers in Detroit.

How old are we really?

I read an article earlier in the week and it struck such a chord in me. Here's the link:

http://www.mediapost.com/publications/?fa=Articles.showArticle&art_aid=104334.

It talks about my generation and trying to define who we are. Who are we supposed to be? Part of me doesn't care what people think of me anymore. That definitely comes with age- some is wisdom, some is that I'm just plain tired out!

Since becoming a mom, working full time hasn't become harder, it the time when you're not working that's completely out of control. How much can you pack into a weekend? There's laundry, housecleaning, Amanda's activities, family obligations. I get back to work on Monday morning where it's extremely quiet and I sit for a few minutes and let my mind catch up to my body. Most people my age don't feel their age. I can still climb trees with Amanda, do a cartwheel and can out run her if I have to. Who do I need to be? A logistics guru- no boss who has a working mom under them has REALLY seen her multi-task, unless he see her at home. That's the game and some days go better than others. Grandparents really help if and when they can. We tried in the beginning to not take help- life becomes way more complicated when kids start school.

So Saturday starts with softball at 9am and horsebackriding in the afternoon. Sounds pretty glorious. More to come on motherhood and marketing. Much more to come from Amanda Says:

Yesterday, she said, "More respect for the momma, and you can write that on Facebook"

Holding our Breath

Holding our Breath sums up so many things right now! In about 3 hours, our amazing friend Rochelle will be coming through international customs at metro airport with her new daughter Paige! I'm am so excited, I just want to leave now for the airport! I'm so proud to call Ro my friend. She is one of the strongest people I know. She also knows what is important and right in the world. Paige has no idea yet how lucky she is to have such a great mom. What stories she will hear when she gets older about how she came to live in America during such turbulent times.

I am also holding my breath over a couple new job opportunities. I have been working a temp job that is ending in 2 weeks, so the pressure is really on! I am staying positive and with either position, will have to jump in and really focus on making them successful. I find it hard at times being a mom, which is always a full time + job and balancing all the rest. Yes, it can be done, but doing it well? That's the real challenge.

So, I take a deep breath and think of Rochelle. She traveled alone to the other side of the earth to bring home an almost one year old. She definitely did it well- you can see by the look on her tired face! She is all smiles. And shortly, when her friends and family meet her at the airport, there are definitely going to be a lot of tears! We love you guys!!!!

From China with Love

Once again, I became an emotional wreck last night! I saw photos of my girlfriend Rochelle in China! She is in the process of meeting and bringing home her daugher Paige. The wait for her and her husband was really long. Two and a half times longer than ours. I can't even imagine waiting longer than we did for Amanda. Rochelle did it well. She was calm and convinced that each day that passed was for a reason. And she was right. The wait led her to Paige, the daughter she was meant to have. How does one finally get to this philosophical place? Perhaps it's years of wanting a child and being disappointed and then getting back to hope. I have said to others, that I can't imagine giving birth as being any more intense. Yes, many of us adopting moms and dads come with extra baggage, but once we travel to meet our children, we know which baggage to pack! Here she is, Miss Paige. The newest member of our girlfriend club!

Trip to Avenue Q

I really enjoyed my trip last night to Avenue Q! The Fisher Theater was buzzing and the "D" was beautifully lit with holiday lights along West Grand Boulevard and Woodward Avenue. It was an evening to forget about all the bad news plaguing our city.

Avenue Q had a "multi-muppeted" ensemble cast that was so talented and everyone in this sold-out audience laughed...a lot! Strings attached? You bet! Someone who reviewed it in our local newspaper said they were 10 years too old to relate to the characters. Being the same age, I had to disagree. We all have memories about graduating school and finding our first job. This group of newly found friends lived together in an apartment building owned by the former child star Gary Coleman! From there, it gets even funnier! The opening song "Sucks to be me" reflected on all their struggles and how things had not progressed in their lives as they imagined. Boy, who can't relate to that? There was another song called "We're all a little racist", which spoke about how we stereotype people. I laughed and could see my Asian daughter playing the role of Christmas Eve someday. The funniest characters were the most racy. Well, as racy as a puppet/muppet with a human handler can get- Imagine Cookie Monster being into porn- that was Trekkie Monster! Lucy the Slut, looked like a cross between Loni Anderson, from the 70's, okay, now I am dating myself, and the old fashioned hussy! The lead characters were Princeston and Kate Monster who actually had sex! Shocking? Perhaps. But even puppets need love! It really was cute and most enjoyable. Who did I like the best? Kate of course!

Broadway in Detroit is alive and well.

The big TV screen says: Go See Avenue Q

You'll love it!

Meet me on Avenue Q

This Friday night, I’m going to see Avenue Q! I’m so excited and it will be nice having a night out with my husband. I’ve heard some of the songs from Avenue Q and read a few reviews. One writer called it “Reality Bites meets Sesame Street”. What do you do with a B.A. in English? Well, about the same thing we’re all doing right now; trying to make it on our big dreams with little money! I know I am going to love these characters. I’ll report back with which one I liked most. I know I’m lucky- part of me is grounded because I’m a mom, but my career has crashed along with the stock market. I feel like I’m starting over again. “Sucks to be me”? Not really, for I truly have that optimistic Muppet outlook. I can’t wait to sit in the beautiful Fisher Theater and be carried away by this Broadway musical which promises plenty of laughs. What could be better than that? Having a good friend who invited us to go!